we made out on top of his cat.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
