If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
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