By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
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