that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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