South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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