apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
Please, let me fuck your mom
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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