Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Randomize
