you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Randomize
