This girl is more easily done than said...
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
