she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
10 Things Your Gyno Wants You To Stop Doing To Your Vagina
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
For Some Reason, Boys Are Singing The ‘Halo’ Theme Song In School Bathrooms
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao