Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same