Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.