My hair reeks of homosexuality.
Please, let me fuck your mom
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
