He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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