My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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