he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
