Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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