So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
