just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
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