I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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