sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Randomize
