I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Randomize
