is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
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