there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
It all started with a game of naked twister.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Randomize
