HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
