i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
