She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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