I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
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