The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
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