just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
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