so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Randomize
