Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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