I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
