i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I should be sponsored by Trojan
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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