Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Randomize
