the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
