I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
no. you can't hotbox the world.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
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