U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
you would pick up someone in the library
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
this hospital has no fireball
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Randomize
