she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
