I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Randomize
