She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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