i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize