She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
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