Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Randomize
