Your face is a jimmy john
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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