Texts From Last Night

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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.

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  (215): he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out. http://tfl.nu/lwob
  Replies (15) Good night (1069) Bad night (3573)
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  (+54): View more from

  look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.

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  (+54): look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels. http://tfl.nu/ux1z
  Replies (11) Good night (7385) Bad night (1075)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.

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  (630): whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch. http://tfl.nu/lo8i
  Replies (5) Good night (2419) Bad night (1305)
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing

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  (443): this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing http://tfl.nu/c7lz
  Replies (23) Good night (6133) Bad night (1635)
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  (910): View more from North Carolina

  You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.

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  (910): You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year. http://tfl.nu/jiz9
  Replies (12) Good night (4085) Bad night (1116)
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub

  (1-519): View more from Ontario

  I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.

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  (519): I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub (1-519): I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first. http://tfl.nu/l0a0
  Replies (5) Good night (1721) Bad night (916)
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  (618): View more from Illinois

  I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.

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  (618): I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low. http://tfl.nu/dyuf
  Replies (5) Good night (568) Bad night (1486)
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  (870): View more from Arkansas

  Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.

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  (870): Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic. http://tfl.nu/y3t4
  Replies (9) Good night (1391) Bad night (709)
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  (315): View more from New York

  I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.

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  (315): I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady. http://tfl.nu/u0md
  Replies (19) Good night (2320) Bad night (789)
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  (778): View more from British Columbia

  Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers

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  (778): Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers http://tfl.nu/9sqe
  Replies (1) Good night (1153) Bad night (472)
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  (661): View more from California

  This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.

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  (661): This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas. http://tfl.nu/nydy
  Replies (4) Good night (852) Bad night (562)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.

  (1-412): View more from Pennsylvania

  .,.,you might have to leave

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  (412): Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding. (1-412): .,.,you might have to leave http://tfl.nu/thv0
  Replies (2) Good night (505) Bad night (806)
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  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.

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  (306): For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now. http://tfl.nu/yu2a
  Replies (4) Good night (427) Bad night (787)
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  (813): View more from Florida

  ! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup

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  (813): ! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup http://tfl.nu/9us7
  Replies (0) Good night (742) Bad night (337)
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  (509): View more from Washington

  In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...

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  (509): In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched... http://tfl.nu/ted8
  Replies (2) Good night (408) Bad night (300)

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