Texts From Last Night

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  (650): View more from California

  I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.

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  (650): I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now. http://tfl.nu/zi6o
  Replies (16) Good night (1458) Bad night (630)
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...

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  (978): guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out... http://tfl.nu/78da
  Replies (23) Good night (815) Bad night (5205)
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  (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna

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  (780): We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna http://tfl.nu/yjmv
  Replies (14) Good night (1688) Bad night (4340)
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over

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  (508): just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over http://tfl.nu/74b2
  Replies (29) Good night (21409) Bad night (906)
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  (502): View more from Kentucky

  Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity

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  (502): Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity http://tfl.nu/qinl
  Replies (67) Good night (11871) Bad night (1121)
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  (602): View more from Arizona

  I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?

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  (602): I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!? http://tfl.nu/p185
  Replies (8) Good night (861) Bad night (2195)
• Favorite

  (612): View more from Minnesota

  Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest

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  (612): Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest http://tfl.nu/v0jn
  Replies (4) Good night (764) Bad night (528)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?

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  (248): Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya? http://tfl.nu/gd64
  Replies (5) Good night (1066) Bad night (401)
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  (850): View more from Florida

  Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??

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  (850): Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper?? http://tfl.nu/82gs
  Replies (6) Good night (1539) Bad night (506)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  How much did you drink?

  (708): View more from Illinois

  Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea

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  (630): How much did you drink? (708): Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea http://tfl.nu/hfkt
  Replies (2) Good night (1139) Bad night (606)
• Favorite

  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though

  (1-781): View more from Massachusetts

  21st birthday = success

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  (781): you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though (1-781): 21st birthday = success http://tfl.nu/y3qn
  Replies (8) Good night (1540) Bad night (480)
• Favorite

  (847): View more from Illinois

  He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.

  (312): View more from Illinois

  So... He's a barber?

  (847): View more from Illinois

  No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?

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  (847): He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part. (312): So... He's a barber? (847): No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it? http://tfl.nu/hrcs
  Replies (1) Good night (1352) Bad night (621)
• Favorite

  (507): View more from Minnesota

  You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.

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  (507): You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success. http://tfl.nu/320u
  Replies (6) Good night (1443) Bad night (399)
• Favorite

  (540): View more from Virginia

  I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.

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  (540): I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher. http://tfl.nu/sltj
  Replies (3) Good night (721) Bad night (330)
• Favorite

  (619): View more from California

  I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.

  (619): View more from California

  .... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.

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  (619): I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover. (619): .... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady. http://tfl.nu/q790
  Replies (4) Good night (636) Bad night (182)

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