mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.