He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
only you would photoshop your dick
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
29 Of The Most Hilarious And Embarrassing Walks Of Shame Ever
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
These 23 Dudes Get Giddy From Dem Titties
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying