and next time when you feel me up, do it right
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Randomize
