to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
