doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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