Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Randomize
