My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
