Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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