Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Enjoy the penises
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
