The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
