He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize
