seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
