She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
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