cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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