I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
pop tarts are not kleenex
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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