Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
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