Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
