Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Randomize
