they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Randomize
