dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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