chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
Randomize
